It seems that no matter how technologically advanced life becomes, house work just does not seem to get less. We have washing machines and tumble dryers but the laundry just keep piling up. We have microwave ovens but the dishes still need to be done and dust just does not want to stay outside. Then there are the long working hours and travel time to and from work that reduces our time to get to those 101 chores; for which there is just not enough time!
The good news is that your teenager can be involved in sharing the responsibility of cleaning your house. Most of them will not like it, but they need to learn that family life is about sharing the load together; to share responsibilities and to providing support for one-another.
Getting most teenagers involved in such kind of activities is generally an uphill battle. Yet there are many ways in which to prevent fighting with them about chores and to get them to participate more eagerly:
- A bit less. If you give your child spending money, begin to give it weekly, say on the Monday morning. Place the money of the following week in an envelope and then place it somewhere that they can see it every day. Discuss and agree on the chores that needs to be done and when. If a chore has not been done, just take a few rand from the envelope. Do not say anything; just take out the money while they see you do it. They should learn quickly that the consequences of neglecting their duties will cost them dearly.
- Favour for Favour. Very often teenagers want you to do something for them like to take them to a shopping mall, let them sleep over at a friend or help with homework. For such cases you can have a list of tasks or a box in which you keep pieces of paper with different chores written on them. Your teenager now needs to select a task or draw one from the box. This task needs to be completed before you perform the favour they want.
- Rotating list. Design a list whereby you rotate the tasks between the members of the family. You can use colour, stickers or pictures to beautify the list and then place it where it is visible to everybody.
- My chores. You can allow your teenager to choose one chore they will readily accept to do and one they do not like to do. You and your spouse can then do the chores they really do not like. They must know that this is a conditional agreement, meaning that if they neglect the chores they choose they will have to do one of your less liked chores the next week.
- Bonus incentive. You can give your teenagers a bit more money, a special treat (for example let them have pizza over the weekend) or pay for a movie they want to see if chores are done as agreed.
- Working separately. When your kids fight a lot, give them chores in different parts of the house or to be done at different times.
- Income. As a rule or in addition to another method of chores management you can also allow you teenagers to earn money. For each extra chore they do, you can give them money or let them build up points that can be converted into money or a favour later when they need it. This way they can learn to save and plan ahead for things, like to save money for a music CD or new clothes.
- Now and later chores. Some chores need to be done quickly or by a specific time while others can be done any time during the week.
For all the above methods to work you need to do two things. The one is to involve your teenager in the discussion about the chores. This does not mean that they sit and listen while you talk. They must give input, come up with ideas and become part of the process through which your family decides how to deal with house chores. The second thing is to get it in writing. Teenagers can forget easily and needs to be reminded regularly, but in a non-nagging way. A list or schedule on the refrigerator or on the bathroom door will do the trick. Where it does not at first, it will once they loose perks or pocket money.
