Dads - wonderfully confusing beings. The day they finally remember your name they forget your birthday. They never have time to help you with your assignments but they always have time for a rugby or soccer match. A strange world we live in, isn’t it. Yet, even though you forgive and still love them, there is nothing wrong with reminding them of your personal needs. After all, this is the only way to ensure they don’t forget that you have needs. Here are some tips on how to get your good old dad to spend more time with you:
- Write him a letter in which you tell him how much you love him and why you want to spend more time with him. You can even mention some of the things the two of you can do together.
- Give him a schedule that highlights the dates of all your school activities. Or make him some invitation cards or “tickets” that he can stick on his mirror in the bathroom.
- Ask him if he will help you paint your room.
- Tell him your needs. For example, “Dad, I like it when you hug and hold me close. Will you mind doing that more often?” Or, “Daddy, I know men don’t like to say the ‘Love’ word, so how about us choosing another word and every time you say that word I will know you are actually telling me that you love me.”
- Brag about him to your friends when he can hear you. Tell them what a nice guy he is, how much he loves you and that you are so happy to have such a dad.
- Start a family yearbook and each month sit down with him to discuss what events from the month to put in the book. Or take some photos during the month of all the family members and ask which he thinks should go in the book.
If your parents are divorced:
- Set up a social network page (e.g. Facebook) and invite him to chat with you this way.
- Take pictures of yourself and what you do and mail it to him. Ask him to do the same.
- Start a diary (e.g. a blog or a Word file) that you share with him. You can use this to ask him questions, debate issues, share your feelings or ask him out about his life.
- Offer to take him out for a movie and popcorn. Let him select the movie.
- Ask his opinion. Select a few topics that you like or that you have a problem with and then ask him about these one at a time.
- Take turns to send each other some nice jokes.
“But he should know that I need his love! I’m angry at him for having neglected me.” Okay, that may be so, but fighting about it or avoiding him simply wastes more of the precious time you can have together. So, put the past behind you, set the example and do the right thing which is to reach out and let him know you want him to be part of your life and then give him a chance to make it up to you.